• I held the door for a UPS driver today at the Subway in Robinson, Ill. I didn’t catch his name, age or how even how long he’s been with the shipping company, but I practically caught his life story. “How are you today,” I cheerfully asked, my chicken teriyaki sub waiting for me on the inside. “I’m having one of those days,” he says. I chuckle. We get inside, “We all have ‘em,” I assure him. Then, he lays it on me: “Sure,” he gets smart, “except mine are every Monday through Friday.” Good lord, I think, awkwardly laughing it off as I go to the restroom. This got me thinking about the old show “King of Queens.” Doug Heffernan (played by Kevin James) lives a television lie. His joyful life is a fabrication. Delivery drivers aren’t happy like Doug – how misleading of the show’s writers. Then again, Doug works for IPS not UPS.
• The closer and closer it gets to Heat-Celtics tonight, the more and more I don’t want to watch it. Watching the Heat play of late is a little like torture, only without all the tools, whereas watching the Oklahoma City Thunder play is like the sensation you get from taking your first bite out of a rice krispie treat made of Fruity Pebbles.
• There’s a dead squirrel laying in the road out side of my apartment. What the hell am I supposed to do with that? Property value: down… as if property value affected me.
• Yeah, the Heat are going to lose tonight.
• I read about Amanda Bynes today from the New York Post. She pleaded not guilty for the DUI she got April 6 and then went on Twitter and tweeted at the president, “Hey @BarackObama… I don’t drink. Please fire the cop who arrested me. I also don’t hit and run. The end.” … What? All I learned from that is that she’s never had a one-night stand and that she ends her tweets like a fairy tale book. … And people close to her say they’re worried about who she is becoming – not being the same girl she was three years ago. Well, it was nearly three years ago she was playing a hardcore Christian in “Easy A”.
Cover of The Hollywood Reporter's latest print issue
• Christina Hendricks is looking hot on the new cover of The Hollywood Reporter. She plays “Joan” in “Mad Men” and the cover story is all about how she is the show’s most “Divisive, Decisive, and Delicious Character.” The word usage alone further inspires me to start watching the show five seasons too late. Meanwhile, there are some real a-holes calling her “fat and overrated” in the comments online. Ignore those.
• I now start to wonder what makes a UPS driver hate his life. Any readers have ideas? Please, comment below.
• … Maybe he killed that squirrel. Jerk!
